Episode 174: Reigniting Pleasure & Libido in Perimenopause via Movement Medicine, with Sharmeen Bhanji-Abeysinghe

In this episode, Dr. Lisa talks with spiritual and somatic movement coach Sharmeen Abeysinghe about what you can do about low libido in perimenopause. Stress and unresolved emotional issues can impact how you behave in the world, especially your sexual expression and libido. Current negative feelings can be related to past trauma and can use up precious energy. Listen in and experience how movement medicine can reignite the pleasure that you deserve.

Sharmeen was previously on Episode 79

Sharmeen Abeysinghe is a Spiritual & Somatic Movement Coach for women.  Her areas of focus are the interplay between the body, brain, emotional & energetic self; and how we can influence these through movement. Having experienced developmental trauma growing up, and complex trauma in adulthood, Sharmeen has a deep understanding of how trauma can shape your life. 

While being an educator for nineteen years, she is adept at simplifying complex information so that it is not only easily digestible, but fun as well! Sharmeen has two brilliant boys aged twelve and nine and is in a committed loving relationship of over twenty years with her loving and supportive husband, Sanka. Sharmeen offers individual & group coaching services through her business MyAlignedLife.ca  

Sharmeen is an advocate of total health for all; in herself finds this through movement. Since 2022, she has been exploring and re-finding her connection to Universal Energy Source…. Where she has experienced what can only be described as miracles. 

In today’s episode, we cover:

  • Important causes of your low libido in perimenopause, including stress
  • How current stress and past trauma can impact your libido
  • What is movement medicine and how you can experience increased libido as a beneficial by-product of practice
  • How your need to analyze everything can be related to denying yourself pleasure 
  • The importance of somatic movements practices to increase your connection with your body and your confidence, as well as your ability to experience relaxation and pleasure
  • How to experience pleasure and your own touch in a non-sexual way
  • The importance of slowing down and moving mindfully
  • How research links mindfulness with sexual function in women

You can connect with Sharmeen on Facebook and Instagram

Join Sharmeen’s Facebook group

Free Moving Meditation  

Free Align into Wealth Frequency 5-day Challenge (begins May 8, 2023): 

Today’s Mama Must-Have:

Dr. Lisa is a big fan of Bee keeper’s naturals propolis throat spray and gargling

What’s Else is Happening?

Dr. Toni’s next HypnoBirthing session for expecting parents looking to decrease fear and anxiety to support their natural instincts around labour and birth is next month. Join her at https://www.hypnobirthingcalgary.com/register

Join Dr. Lisa’s new Facebook group Wild Woman Adventures Toronto if you want to get out in nature, connect with other women and push yourself out of your comfort zone. Activities include: sunrise/sunset SUP, tree-top trekking, a new moon workshop and more!

Thanks for joining us!

Email us or connect with us on  Facebook  and  Instagram

We’d love you to subscribe, leave us a review and a 5-star rating if you enjoyed this episode.

You can also support us by visiting our Patreon page.

Please tell your perimenopausal mama friends about us, too!

Stay safe and healthy everyone!Disclaimer:The information provided is not meant to replace treatment with a licensed health care practitioner. It is for informational purposes only. Consult with a Naturopathic Doctor or other licensed health care professional to determine which treatments are safe for you.

Episode 167 – Let’s Talk About Sex – In Conversation with Dr. Trina Read

Don’t feel like having sex? It’s time to listen to this re-release of Dr. Toni’s conversation with Dr. Trina Read, sexologist and CEO of the Business of Sex. They discuss the impact of perimenopause and stressful events (like a pandemic) on your sex life. This episode was originally released on May 28, 2020.

Dr. Trina has an unique perspective as a sex and relationship expert who has a corporate background in marketing and PR and who is also a perimenopausal mom.

In this episode, we cover:

  • How to use self care to bring libido back
  • Why you need to know your happy triggers for sex
  • The importance of knowing what you want out of sex and communicating it
  • Why you might want to take intercourse and orgasm off the table for better sex
  • How to have those awkward conversations around sex
  • Why personal lubricant makes all sex better
  • The importance of working your pelvic floor muscles

Connect with Dr. Trina Read on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/trina.read and Twitter at @DrTrinaRead

Dr. Trina’s website http://trinaread.com/ has many different articles you can share with your partner to stimulate conversation around sex and your own sex life.

Watch for the release of Dr. Trina’s self help fiction book Amy Finds Her Sex soon!

Today’s Mama Must Have: 

Dr. Toni is a huge fan of her local neighbourhood buy and sell groups on Facebook. These can be a lifesaver for moms on a budget. 

What’s Else is Happening?

Dr. Toni’s next HypnoBirthing session for expecting parents looking to decrease fear and anxiety to support their natural instincts around labour and birth is this month. Join her at https://www.hypnobirthingcalgary.com/register

Join Dr. Lisa’s upcoming Wild Collective group for perimenopausal women at www.wildcollectivetoronto.com

Join Dr. Lisa’s new Facebook group Wild Woman Adventures Toronto if you want to get out in nature, connect with other women and push yourself out of your comfort zone. Activities include: sunrise/sunset SUP, tree-top trekking, a new moon workshop and more!

Thanks for joining us!

Email us or connect with us on  Facebook  and  Instagram

We’d love you to subscribe, leave us a review and a 5-star rating if you enjoyed this episode.

You can also support us by visiting our Patreon page.

Please tell your perimenopausal mama friends about us, too!

Stay safe and healthy everyone!

Disclaimer:The information provided is not meant to replace treatment with a licensed health care practitioner. It is for informational purposes only. Consult with a Naturopathic Doctor or other licensed health care professional to determine which treatments are safe for you.

Episode 89: Let’s Talk About Sex – In Conversation with Dr. Trina Read (previously released as Episode 23 on May 28, 2020)

Don’t feel like having sex? It’s time to listen to this re-release of Dr. Toni’s conversation with Dr. Trina Read, sexologist and CEO of the Business of Sex. They discuss the impact of perimenopause and stressful events (like a pandemic) on your sex life. This episode was originally released on May 28, 2020.

Dr. Trina has an unique perspective as a sex and relationship expert who has a corporate background in marketing and PR and who is also a perimenopausal mom.

In this episode, we cover:

  • How to use self care to bring libido back
  • Why you need to know your happy triggers for sex
  • The importance of knowing what you want out of sex and communicating it
  • Why you might want to take intercourse and orgasm off the table for better sex
  • How to have those awkward conversations around sex
  • Why personal lubricant makes all sex better
  • The importance of working your pelvic floor muscles

In perimenopause and in stressful times, you may find your libido is flatlined and don’t feel like sex.

Your body can only produce either cortisol (your stress hormone) or testosterone (your sex drive hormone). If you’re producing cortisol, you can’t produce testosterone.

In situations with great change, it’s important to connect with your partner and look for ways to be together, so that you don’t drift apart. Being proactive and finding pockets of time to be close with your partner helps your relationship, as well as feeling more powerful yourself.

Ask yourself – what can I do to help myself feel more sensual?

You can back into the groove and bring your body back to a place where you feel more centred and sensual by:

  • Taking a bath
  • Listening to your favourite music
  • Giving yourself some me time alone in your bedroom with a vibrator
  • Just making up your mind to connect with your partner (even if it feels forced at first)

The Centre for Menstrual Cycle and Ovulation Research (CeMCOR) was founded at the University of British Columbia (UBC) by endocrinologist Dr. Jerilynn Prior. There is lots of information about their research around menstruation and hormones at https://www.cemcor.ubc.ca/

UBC is also home to the Sexual Health Laboratory run by Dr. Lori Brotto that focuses on research around women’s sexual health. https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/

Research shows that sexual desire is similar to happiness. For most women, in order to feel sexual desire, you needed to be triggered. You can learn positive triggers around sex and negative triggers around sex. You need to set up your positive triggers for sex.

Unfortunately, you may have been brainwashed to think that only 2 things available for sex is having intercourse and having an orgasm.

Sexual intercourse all the time can be a negative trigger for a lot of women, especially if you feel like it doesn’t quite do it for you.

When you can anticipate doing something that you want to experience, a happy trigger for sex can be created. Working on triggers for sexual desire and increasing your repertoire for sex are important for your sexuality to evolve.

Self care like meditation, yoga and tai chi lowers stress and cortisol and can increase your libido.

There are studies that prove that meditation improves your sex life!

Perimenopause is like reverse adolescence with wild ebbs and flows of estrogen and progesterone that can create mood swings, anxiety, hot flashes and insomnia. No wonder you don’t feel like having sex!

Once you hit 40 years of age, you produce less oxytocin. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone. With less oxytocin, you start being more “selfish” and focus on yourself. With more wisdom, self confidence and self care, you can feel more deserving and able to explain to your partner what you want.

This is your opportunity to create something different and better in your sex life! Your partner will be on board with you becoming a more engaged partner…it could result in you actively wanting sex more often.

If you’re experiencing vaginal dryness sometimes or all the time, sex can be painful. Trying out a few different brand of lubricants (silicone based, water based or a combo) can be a game changer for your sex life. Lubricant makes all sex better. You might even want to try a lubricating suppository.

If you don’t use it, you lose it! If you don’t use your vaginal canal, you could experience vaginal atrophy. Exercising your pubococcygeus muscle increases blood flow. Research shows that post-menopausal women who do Kegel exercises have bigger, better orgasms than women who don’t do Kegels. 

What’s the female equivalent to the towel test? 

Every woman’s uterus will prolapse to a certain extent. Greater levels of prolapse can create painful sex. 

There are options to address uterine prolapse other than surgery:

  • Herbal medicine like black cohosh
  • Pelvic floor physiotherapy
  • Bioidentical hormone replacement therapy
  • Laser rejuvenation

You can slide or decide: slide into painful sex or decide to do something different and exciting.

Too scared to talk to your partner about doing something different and new?

How can you start talking to your partner about sex when you feel awkward and uncomfortable. Dr. Trina’s website http://trinaread.com/ has many different articles you can share with your partner to stimulate conversation around sex and your own sex life.

Connect with Dr. Trina Read on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/trina.read and Twitter at @DrTrinaRead

Watch for the release of Dr. Trina’s self help fiction book Amy Finds Her Sex soon!

Today’s Mama Must Have: 

Dr. Toni is a huge fan of her local neighbourhood buy and sell groups on Facebook. These can be a lifesaver for moms on a budget. 

Thank you for joining us today! 

Find the show notes at perimenopausalmamas.com or connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love you to subscribe, leave us a review and a 5-star rating if you enjoyed this episode.

Please tell your perimenopausal mama friends about us, too!

Stay safe and healthy everyone!

Episode 23: Let’s Talk About Sex – In Conversation with Dr. Trina Read

Today, Dr. Toni is talking all about sex in perimenopause and beyond with Dr. Trina Read, sexologist and CEO of the Business of Sex. They discuss: why you need to “use it or lose it”; the importance of mixing things up in the bedroom, especially during perimenopause; how to feel more sensual; and why libido tanks and what you can do about it.

Dr. Trina has an unique perspective as a sex and relationship expert who has a corporate background in marketing and PR and who is also a perimenopausal mom.

In this episode, we cover:

  • How to use self care to bring libido back
  • Why you need to know your happy triggers for sex
  • The importance of knowing what you want out of sex and communicating it
  • Why you might want to take intercourse and orgasm off the table for better sex
  • How to have those awkward conversations around sex
  • Why personal lubricant makes all sex better
  • The importance of working your pelvic floor muscles

Where did my libido go?

In perimenopause and in stressful times, you may find your libido is flatlined and don’t feel like sex.

Your body can only produce either cortisol (your stress hormone) or testosterone (your sex drive hormone). If you’re producing cortisol, you can’t produce testosterone.

In situations with great change, it’s important to connect with your partner and look for ways to be together, so that you don’t drift apart. Being proactive and finding pockets of time to be close with your partner helps your relationship, as well as feeling more powerful yourself.

How to feel more sensual and “get in the mood”

You can back into the groove and bring your body back to a place where you feel more centred and sensual by:

  • Taking a bath
  • Listening to your favourite music
  • Giving yourself some me time alone in your bedroom with a vibrator
  • Just making up your mind to connect with your partner (even if it feels forced at first)

The Centre for Menstrual Cycle and Ovulation Research (CeMCOR) was founded at the University of British Columbia (UBC) by endocrinologist Dr. Jerilynn Prior. There is lots of information about their research around menstruation and hormones at https://www.cemcor.ubc.ca/

UBC is also home to the Sexual Health Laboratory run by Dr. Lori Brotto that focuses on research around women’s sexual health. https://brottolab.med.ubc.ca/

Research shows that sexual desire is similar to happiness. For most women, in order to feel sexual desire, you needed to be triggered. You can learn positive triggers around sex and negative triggers around sex. You need to set up your positive triggers for sex.

Unfortunately, you may have been brainwashed to think that only 2 things available for sex is having intercourse and having an orgasm.

Sexual intercourse all the time can be a negative trigger for a lot of women, especially if you feel like it doesn’t quite do it for you.

When you can anticipate doing something that you want to experience, a happy trigger for sex can be created. Working on triggers for sexual desire and increasing your repertoire for sex are important for your sexuality to evolve.

There are studies that prove that meditation improves your sex life!

Self care like meditation, yoga and tai chi lowers stress and cortisol and can increase your libido.

Perimenopause is like reverse adolescence with wild ebbs and flows of estrogen and progesterone that can create mood swings, anxiety, hot flashes and insomnia. No wonder you don’t feel like having sex!

Sex in your 40s and beyond: now is the time be selfish, use lubrication and practice Kegel’s!

Once you hit 40 years of age, you produce less oxytocin. Oxytocin is a bonding hormone. With less oxytocin, you start being more “selfish” and focus on yourself. With more wisdom, self confidence and self care, you can feel more deserving and able to explain to your partner what you want.

This is your opportunity to create something different and better in your sex life! Your partner will be on board with you becoming a more engaged partner…it could result in you actively wanting sex more often.

If you’re experiencing vaginal dryness sometimes or all the time, sex can be painful. Trying out a few different brand of lubricants (silicone based, water based or a combo) can be a game changer for your sex life. Lubricant makes all sex better. You might even want to try a lubricating suppository.

If you don’t use it, you lose it! If you don’t use your vaginal canal, you could experience vaginal atrophy. Exercising your pubococcygeus muscle increases blood flow. Research shows that post-menopausal women who do Kegel exercises have bigger, better orgasms than women who don’t do Kegels. 

Is sex painful? You may have a prolapsed uterus:

Every woman’s uterus will prolapse to a certain extent. Greater levels of prolapse can create painful sex. 

There are options to address uterine prolapse other than surgery:

  • Herbal medicine like black cohosh
  • Pelvic floor physiotherapy
  • Bioidentical hormone replacement therapy
  • Laser rejuvenation

You can slide or decide: slide into painful sex or decide to do something different and exciting.

How to talk to your partner about foreplay and sex:

Too scared to talk to your partner about doing something different and new?

How can you start talking to your partner about sex when you feel awkward and uncomfortable. Dr. Trina’s website http://trinaread.com/ has many different articles you can share with your partner to stimulate conversation around sex and your own sex life.

Connect with Dr. Trina Read on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/trina.read and Twitter at @DrTrinaRead

Watch for the release of Dr. Trina’s self help fiction book, “Amy Finds Her Sex“!

Today’s Mama Must Have: 

Dr. Toni is a huge fan of her local neighbourhood buy and sell groups on Facebook. These can be a lifesaver for moms on a budget. 

Thank you for joining us today! 

Find the show notes at stephanies48.sg-host.com or connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love you to subscribe, leave us a review and a 5-star rating if you enjoyed this episode.

Please tell your perimenopausal mama friends about us, too!

Stay safe everyone!