Episode 211: How to Stop the Self-Sabotage, Put Ourselves First and Live an Intentional and Beautiful Life

In today’s episode re-release, Dr. Lisa welcomes back Master Results Coach and author Larisa Makuch to discuss self-sabotage and how moms can start to put themselves first. 

Previously, Larisa joined Dr. Lisa in Episode 210 – Mastering Your Mindset with Larisa Makuch: Dr. Lisa dives deep with Master Results Coach, Larisa Makuch, about stepping back and looking at how you show up in your life. They discuss actionable ways to live an intentional and joyful life, even during the pandemic. Listen in to discover ways to foster a positive mindset and gratitude; learn how to be responsive and not reactionary to situations that arise (and to your kids!) and simple ways to live a purpose-filled life.

Larisa Makuch is a Master Results Coach and CEO of Abundance Academy. She helps motivated entrepreneurial and professional women stop spinning their wheels, overcome anxiety and banish limiting beliefs so they can free themselves to unapologetically create the life and business they want and love.

A major part of Larisa’s journey was overcoming a 10-year infertility journey where she “did everything” recommended by various doctors and health-care practitioners. Her turning point was making a key mindset shift that led her to a dramatic change in her professional life, successful pregnancy and son she adores! 

As the author of the upcoming Stop Procrastinating Your Life Away: Discover the Secrets to More Time, Money and Freedom and CEO of Abundance Academy, it’s her mission to positively impact more than 1-Billion people across the globe and allow the world to be a better place for all.

In this episode, we cover:

  • How you can tend to put yourself last by default
  • The importance of giving yourself permission to be a different kind of mother than the one you think you “should” be 
  • That you are not responsible for your unconscious programming, however you are responsible for changing it once you recognize it
    • Step 1: Forgive yourself for not being perfect!
    • Step 2: Choose to keep going in the same direction or choose a better direction 
  • That most of your limiting beliefs are just decisions that you made at some point
  • The importance of having simple tools and making the decision to use them
    • Re-writing and shifting your limiting beliefs
    • Vision boarding
  • How decision making is a skill that you can practice, master and teach your kids

You can get in touch with Larisa on Instagram @myabundanceacademy, on her website and you can join her Unleash Your Abundance Facebook Group 

Today’s Mama Must-Have:

Dr. Lisa is a big fan of the Verilux 10,000 LUX light box for seasonal light exposure

What’s Happening?

Join Dr. Toni online to learn more about self-hypnosis to support your health and hormones in 2024. Click Here and use the code MAMA2024 for a special deal. 

Thanks for listening!

Email us or connect with us on Facebook and Instagram

We’d love you to subscribe, leave us a review and a 5-star rating if you enjoyed this episode.

You can also support us by visiting our Patreon page.

Please tell your perimenopausal mama friends about us, too!

Stay safe and healthy everyone!

Disclaimer: The information provided in this presentation is not meant to replace treatment with a licensed health care practitioner. It is for informational purposes only. Consult with a Naturopathic Doctor or other licensed health care professional to determine which treatments are safe for you.

Episode 210: Mastering Your Mindset with Larisa Makuch

In today’s episode re-release from 2021, Dr. Lisa dives deep with Master Results Coach, Larisa Makuch, about stepping back and looking at how you show up in your life. They discuss actionable ways to live an intentional, joyful life, even during the pandemic. Listen in to: discover ways to develop a positive mindset and gratitude; learn how to be responsive and not reactionary to your life (and kids!) and simple ways to live a purpose-filled life.

As a sought-after speaker, educator and author with decades of experience, Larisa is an energetic up level specialist who helps women make an impact in their world and create a powerful, purposeful plan to get there. In addition to being a Masters Results Coach, Larisa holds designations as a Master of Time Line Therapy, a Trainer of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, and the head of a Neuro-Linguistic Programming Institute.

In this conversation, we cover:

  • The importance of focusing on what’s good, even if it’s just starting with one small moment after you’ve started your day on the wrong foot
  • What it means to develop your mindset
  • How you can be more responsive instead of reactionary in challenging situations with your kids at home
  • What you can do to live a purpose-filled and joyful life as a busy mom
  • The importance of finding time to being in quiet by yourself, even if it’s only for 5 minutes, to develop a positive mindset and increase your energy

You can get in touch with Larisa on Instagram and join her Unleash Your Opulence Facebook Group

Today’s Tip:

Larisa found this fun and healthy holiday snack that your kids will love: Banana Snowman Pops Recipe 

Today’s Mama Must Have:

Larisa loves her Muse Headband for her daily meditation practice.

Dr. Lisa is grateful for her husband Pete who has been managing the household during her busy season.

What’s Happening?

Join Dr. Toni online to learn more about self-hypnosis to support your health and hormones in 2024. Click Here and use the code MAMA2024 for a special gift. 

Thanks for listening!

Email us or connect with us on Facebook and Instagram

We’d love you to subscribe, leave us a review and a 5-star rating if you enjoyed this episode.

You can also support us by visiting our Patreon page.

Please tell your perimenopausal mama friends about us, too!

Stay safe and healthy everyone!

Disclaimer: The information provided in this presentation is not meant to replace treatment with a licensed health care practitioner. It is for informational purposes only. Consult with a Naturopathic Doctor or other licensed health care professional to determine which treatments are safe for you.

Episode 7: Anxiety, Mom Guilt and Getting Out of Your Head – In Conversation with Kimberly Mueller

In today’s episode, Dr. Toni is speaking to registered psychologist and neurofeedback therapist, Kimberly Mueller about the mental/emotional side of parenting and health. This conversation was recorded back in August.

In this juicy episode, we cover:

  • Lessening your egoic attachment to your kids
  • Awareness of how your experience with your own parents impacts how you parent your kids
  • The inevitability of mom guilt
  • Distorted thought patterns women can get stuck in
  • How mood follows action
  • How trauma, anxiety, sleep and nervous system patterns can shift with neurofeedback brain training

Powerful Mama Advice from Kimberly:

Are you anxious about what your child is doing or not doing, especially in regard to their grades in school, their behaviour in public or their activities like dance or sports?

Remember that your kids are not yours; they are with you right now for a period of time before they go out into the world. Your kids do not have to define you and your identity doesn’t have to be tied up in them. It can be helpful to loosen your egoic attachment to who your child is, what they are saying or how they are acting. This can lessen some of the stress and anxiety you may feel about who your child is becoming. As a result, this can give your kids the permission they need to be loved and accepted for exactly who they are without conditions and expectations.

This idea can be a shift from previous generations. Growing up, you may have felt the burden that you had to be a particular kind of person or fit into a specific mold and that it wasn’t ok to be different. You may even regress back to feeling that way when you go back to your childhood home now!

As an adult, you might still be healing from the idea that it’s not ok to be yourself or you have to be a certain way. Hopefully, we can all step into a new fluidity and looseness around the rigid belief system we grew up in. 

Your experience growing up with your own parents can colour how you parent your own kids. 

When you become an adult, there is a lot of value in seeing your parents for who they really are. We can begin to see the inevitable faults in our parents and their parenting choices. With increased self-awareness, you can start to be radically honest with yourself and be willing to see the tendency of your parents in your own parenting. If your mother yelled often when you were growing up, you might be yelling often with your children. If your mother was a disagreeable personality type and your father was an agreeable personality type, you are likely going to think it’s ok for one person to often succumb to another person’s opinion or desires.

By breaking down how your family of origin influenced you, you can see how some of your parents’ faults might be manifesting in your own parenting. Because of that conditioning on your nervous system over the years, changing how you respond to different situations doesn’t happen overnight. This is also the case with your partner, too! Give yourself permission to make mistakes and learn from them. 

Mom Guilt, Anyone?

The idea of the perfect, happy image that can be present on social media doesn’t help with some of the inevitable mom guilt that you can experience. While mom guilt is inevitable, it is manageable. You are knocking on some primitive parts of your brain when you are experiencing mom guilt. You are evolutionarily wired to want to protect your young. When you go out to seek out resources (in other words: working), you might feel some dissidence or the feeling that something isn’t quite right at some level. Even in the 21 century, you are still operating on the same software system from many, many years ago.

From an evolutionary perspective, your tribe was designed to help raise your young. You can look at it that way when it comes to having your kids in daycare or at school while you are working. Your tribe is helping to raise your young and helping with social skills. The research 

When you have those emotions, be curious about it. Go through the process of checking in with yourself. Are you working a lot of extra hours and being more short with your kids because of guilt around that? Even if you love your job, this can come up over and over again. Is the guilt coming from a place of your spidey sense telling you that something is off? 

While nothing is perfect, often mom guilt can be turned down when you feel comfortable with the care that your kids are getting when you are at work. Honour your intuition if your gut is telling you to make a change. It’s helpful to have someone in your life to talk it out, whether it is your partner, friend, another family member or a therapist.

Could everyone benefit from therapy and seeing a psychologist? 

The biased answer is yes! Being aware of your emotions and putting a label on it is the biggest part of making change and feel better. You don’t need to have a problem or diagnosis to benefit from working with a therapist. It can help look at things in your life with a new lens that you may not have considered. Mental training and emotional agility is something that needs work, like training for your physical health and how brushing your teeth is necessary for your dental health and overall well-being. 

Do you get lost in your head?

Our minds can be a dangerous place! Our imagination can create stories and narratives that are not true. 

Examples of distorted thoughts include:

  • Mind reading – you think you know what another person is thinking, even though they aren’t thinking that way
  • Catastrophizing – you think that if one thing goes wrong, then another and another will happen and create a problem that is far worse than it really is

These distorted thoughts can be challenged by a therapist or a really good objective friend. Seeing a therapist can be a great alternative to talking to a friend because it can be hard for a friend to not be biased or not just say something you want to hear in order to affect the friendship and be nice. While your social tribe is there to unconditionally support you, a therapist is objective with no skin in the game. Also, you are wired to want to keep your status and position amongst your tribe to ensure survival. While it is great to share with close friends, you can say whatever is there for you with a therapist without worrying about the potential impact.

Mood follows action. 

You might not have the “perfect” mood to go out for a walk or go to a new place. It can be hard, but by not doing it, you are reinforcing the same pattern that there is something to be afraid of or is threatening.

Just talking about patterns around past trauma and anxiety (big or little) you might be stuck in sometimes isn’t enough to remove them. This involves the firing of neurons in different areas of the brain and different brain neurotransmitters.

Neurofeedback trains the brain and can help re-organize the brain at the subconscious level. As a result, the brain is no longer firing or stuck in the patterns that are causing anxiety or insomnia or keeping trauma stuck in the body. 

Your brain doesn’t want to exert a lot of energy. It takes a lot of energy to be anxious, depressed or ADHD. Neurofeedback helps the brain to become more efficient and resilient. Like the internet, neurofeedback is super easy to use but incredibly complex in how it’s organized behind the scenes.

Neurofeedback has been helpful for some women to wean off anti-anxiety medication. Also, Dr. Toni has experienced the benefits of neurofeedback while pregnant to calm anxiety, reduce the amount of waking in the middle of the night and gain better sleep quality. 

Today’s tip: Take a deep breath. Recognize that you’re doing the best you can and your kids are doing the best they can. Support each other and celebrate our successes. 

Mama Must Have:

Dr. Toni recommends an indestructible stainless steel water bottles for moms and kids, too. She loves Klean Kanteen for herself and her daughter Frankie. 

Find a Klean Kanteen for your child online HERE.

Kim recommends having a guide for free, fun family activities in your area, like Calgary’s Child.

Find out more about cognitive behaviour therapy, neurofeedback and Kimberly’s approach at www.psychologycalgary.com 

As an Amazon Associate Dr. Toni earns from qualifying purchases, which helps to keep this podcast up and running! 

Thank you for joining us today! 

Have any comments, suggestions or burning questions? Email us or connect with us on Facebook and Instagram. We’d love you to subscribe, leave us a review and a 5 star rating if you enjoyed this episode.

Please tell your perimenopausal mama friends about us, too!